The "feminine mystique" redux
Here's a classic excerpt from Friedan's book: The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States. Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night -- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question -- "Is this all?" That was then...and now there's a veritable cottage industry of books teaching women how to be "godly wives." The Excellent Wife, for example, by Martha Peace, teaches that "her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy," her "most important ministry." Peace holds herself up as a model, having given up a successful nursing career ("I had become a full blown feminist who was going to make my mark on the world") to become "the godly wife that He wants me to be." Joanna Weaver's How to Have a Mary Heart in a Martha World attributes housewifely dissatisfaction to women's failure to reserve time for spiritual practice in between vacuuming, laundry, and soccer practice for the kids--not, of course, to the overblown conservative evangelical expectation that women can find a life of meaning while cut off from the world of work and from any society beyond church and family. Throughout this literature, the buzzword is submission--submitting to Christ and husband. Anything shy of that is not self-assertion, or feminism, it's selfishness and ungodliness. Many conservative Christian women rave about these books. One comment, posted in praise of Martha Peace's book--"It has been my experience that living in a Godly marriage - and that includes being submissive to my husband - is the happiest thing I've ever known on Earth"--reflects the conversations I've heard repeatedly among women at Christian right gatherings. And yet the ennui that Friedan identified four decades ago still peeks through. As one Christian blogger posted some months ago, about her relationship with her husband, "He was going out and I was staying home and I was flat out envious. Yes, I'm the weird one. The girl who's annoyed because she's the wrong gender to go to the men's dinner. I came home annoyed and irritated and sat down at the computer and sulked..."
Friedan was hardly a universal hero within feminist circles--she was known for her inability to play well with others, for example--but it's stunning to realize that, in some circles, the critique offered in her 43-year-old Feminine Mystique is right on time.
The "feminine mystique" redux | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)
The "feminine mystique" redux | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)
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